Response to Tonya week # 6-

I never saw the movie and only skimmed through part of the book. As I recall most of the letters from real women were very desperate and pathetic. They all were obsessed with boys who did not like them, no matter what they did to win the boys over. The author’s advice was good but maybe the movie wasn’t so far off from the book. I remember just being embarrassed for some of the women and cringe when I read their letters because they sounded so weak and were so clueless. From what you’ve said I feel that the movie was trying to depict what not to do with men in a humorous way. I hope it ended well and empowered women but unfortunately for entertainment value I’m sure the writers took the easy way out and hit on every social stereotype they could dig up about women. Women are portrayed poorly in movies sometimes but then again they also have strong roles that society respects. But I don’t like anything that makes women feel the need to be in a relationship considering how unforgiving our society can be to single women.



Response to Joan week # 6-

I agree that society is slowly coming around, but you don’t actually know if either couples of men were in fact heterosexual, they could be gay. I usually see men out together eating but it’s usually during the day, and almost always appears to be business related. If guys are hanging out at the movies together I have noticed it is usually a large group of them and they are usually under the age of 25. Society is becoming more accepting of gay men and women but gender roles are still pretty prevalent. People like labels: gay, straight, boy, girl, they want you to pick a side and stay there.

Response to Robin week # 6-

I think I would feel exactly the same way if I were in your position because you’re her mother and obviously you love her very much, but as an outsider I can see how his actions may have been innocent so to speak. Your daughter told you that she wanted to wait but she may have told her husband something different or not even discussed it at all. And to him maybe he thinks the timing seems perfect but then again I don’t think men will ever fully understand pregnancy because they don’t physically experience it. It’s emotional and messes with your hormones and I’m sure the last thing your daughter needs while in the pits of stressful unemployment is to get pregnant. But he really should be more sensitive and take your daughters feelings and needs into consideration.

Response Kesha to week # 6-

I think the reasons your cousins children wanted to dance were very honorable and supported their education but I feel as thought they should have picked different part time careers. I don’t know much about dancing but I will assume that you make more than you could waiting tables and I’m sure that was the appeal to them. I don’t think that being an exotic dancer is different for a man in society’s eyes then for a woman. As for it being more dangerous for a woman I may have to agree, not that men are invincible but even size wise women are smaller than men. And I worry about the character of men who visit clubs like that in the first place, women as well but I feel they are less of a threat to men. They can become infatuated but cannot rape a man it’s physically impossible. But women can be raped and being a dancer is so sexual by nature that it can be dangerous for a girl to be in that position.

Response to Nicole F. week 6-

Feminist itself is a label and it has taken on some negative images over the past century. In your first sentence I have to disagree with you because I think a strong woman who knows who she is describes confidence not necessarily a feminist mentality. And I think feminism is about women wanting to be treated and viewed equal to men, both legally and in society. While feminism can be an attitude that one applies to their personal views and how they act/live their lives, I think true feminist fight for a cause and make tangible efforts to create change. They involve every part of their life to fighting for women everywhere. I do agree that we all need to work together and change the unbalanced equality I also would like to hear your ideas on how you think people can change issues of equality in our society? Good job with the statistics; they are very powerful and really got me to think.


Response to Tiffany G week 6-

I am hoping that your boss just has an attitude problem and not that all women act this way in positions of power. She may have let some of her new success go to her head, or maybe she doesn’t know how to act because of how women in our society are viewed overall. It can be a tough position and if she wasn’t used to the power she may have gone to the extreme and is trying to hard to secure her top dog position. My female boss is very much the same as yours but I know that my boss is putting on a “tough I have no weaknesses” act. She feels that if any weakness shows it will undermine her authority, just recently she had a stroke and did not tell anyone about it. Her personal assistant only knew because she had to take care of some hospital business for my boss, who told all of us that her father was ill and she was taking care of him for two months. She would show up occasionally for half days but was absent for a while recovering. It’s so sad too; I want to give her a big hug! But I’m sure that’s the last thing she wants. And at first I thought it was strange that she didn’t tell us but now I totally think otherwise. Every time she makes a silly mistake now (which she did in the past just as much) I find myself saying, oh it must be from what happened, and none of us can help thinking she’s making more mistakes even if she isn’t. So maybe your boss is trying to establish her authority, although from what you said she is going about it all wrong. She seems very disrespectful and maybe she was like that before she was promoted but it wasn’t as apparent. As for men not wanting women in the work place I have heard all kinds of reasons- women are too emotional to make important decisions, women can’t separate professional from personal etc. But these are men who were raised in a society that puts women in those categories and it’s hard to fight a lifetime of learned behavior.



Response to Taran G week # 6-

I have never seen that show but I can only imagine how ridiculous it is. I’m sure the woman’s daughter is not allowed to date yet, or if she is I’m sure she has stricter rules than her brother, based on what you wrote about the mother’s behavior. I think that when a father is mean to his daughters boyfriend it is to protect her as well as to establish dominance. Dad is number one in her life and he wants boys to know that. But it is interesting that your questions apply to mothers hating girls and fathers hating boys. I guess it’s rare to find a mother who hates her daughter’s boyfriend without having good reason behind it. Maybe it is an issue of jealousy, moms don’t want to be replaced or feel like they are loosing their baby to another woman. And the same with fathers who many times view their daughters as delicate flowers, who need to be treated with extra special care.
I’m upset to hear the comment about hoping her daughter is ready to be a housewife, not because that is a bad thing to be but because she is giving her no options. It seems very old school to automatically place her daughter in the kitchen with a mop; I wonder what she tells her son his role will have to be. And as I understand it the women on this show are very well off and this mother has the means to offer her daughter endless opportunities, so many struggling mothers would love to be in this position- I hope she doesn’t take that away from her. And I feel bad for the last woman you mentioned, her husband is selfish and feels it is not his job to take care of his own children, how sad for them and his wife.

During the school year i teach pre-k and when school ends for summer vacation i teach instructional swim at camp (as well as at the Y all year.) I never really gave much thought to the way boys and girls bunks were separated until this summer. The 3 and 4-year-old bunks are boys and girls together but 5-year-olds and up are separated by gender. And now I am trying to understand why at age 5 the separation occurs- is it due to societal opinions on gender?? or is it appropriate based on the way children grow, learn, and play? Because during the school year their classrooms are co-ed, so why should the summer be any different. I have always thought men and women could not be friends, but as young children they should be able to play and have experiences together, within a group setting. I understand that changing for swim may be an issue- but that may be only because WE as a society make it one. Plus this is easy to solve- separate changing areas for boy/girl bunks. Maybe men and women would actually have good adult friendships if they were taught (or forced!! as the case may be) to be friends as children. And this would be a great way for them to gain personal insight about the opposite gender, which could heighten communication between the genders. It is also now strange to me that male counselors can only have boy groups but female counselors have both. Are all 19 to 25 year old males child sex fiends??!!? who knew?? Even activities are different, the girls have gymnastics that isn't even offered to the boys while boys have way more athletic opportunities, like soccer and baseball. I feel like my my opinion about male/female friendships came from social observations and nothing else, and it really makes me reevaluate why i think this way and I'm already changing my opinion.

Week 5 Response to Nick B

First of all I applaud you for tackling sex and the city, and for questioning its relevance in our society. I think it accurately depicts how women feel and what they would want if given the opportunity. But not all women have the opportunity to live that way and so the show is more of a fantastical hour long escape. It is empowering to watch when as women you are either going through what the women on the show are going through or you are single and due to society feel not good enough. The show makes it okay to focus on yourself and your career- even if being a housewife is what a girl wants to be she has a whole single-working girl life before she even meets her husband. I remember my girlfriends and I would watch it because the characters were role models. They were unlike any women we saw or knew in our lives. Yes, their lifestyles were extreme, Samantha was a little too sexually free but she made it a little more okay for women to have more than one sexual partner in their life without being considered a whore. And Carrey was flawed and realistic, but still successful and beautiful and women need to look up to other women who make mistakes and say the wrong thing but at the end of a series they are happy with who they are.

week 5 response to Maissa

Jealousy is a tricky emotion that seems to affect both men and women and all situations. If trust is broken in a relationship then jealousy may become an issue. Your friend may have been cheated on before and is scared for life, or she is simply insecure with herself and her relationship with her boyfriend. Environment can also play a role, my boyfriend has always struggled with jealousy and trust because as a child his father cheated on his mother and eventually left her (while she was pregnant with their third child) for his lover (who he is married to now). I don’t think it’s a gender issue but maybe there is some random genetic link that is more dominant in females which causes them to be jealous more often then men. The only difference I have ever noticed is that men will go after the “other guy” when threatened or jealous, whereas women will go after their boyfriends (partners) rather than the “other girl.”

Week 5 response to Robin

I guess the real issue is weather or not this situation is actually a problem, books are gender based, especially for children. Just like girls identify with female role models boys identify with men, boys may be more “feminine” in gender but I am not sure that colors have anything to do with learning. I want to know what books were being provided- the book can be about a boy or a girl and teach a lesson or offer valuable experiences in a non sexist way- which I think is a good thing. Do you know that book “everybody poops” great book!! Haahaha..It is for a younger audience but it comes in a boy version and a girl version on purpose. As a child it is important for them to relate to a character or person in a story/book so they, I agree with you that as they get older boys and girls should definitely have a variety of gendered books because they are confident in their sex (male/female) even if they are still finding out their gender. And I know those trainings you are referring to- the ones that tell educators to call snowmen “snow people” and fire men “fire safety professionals” and what not. But I always thought that was to include both sexes??

Week # 5 eureka moment

There is a 6-year-old boy in one of my classes named jimmy who comes from a very "old school" family. I say old school because mom (who is young 32 years at most) does EVERYTHING regarding her 3 children- ages 18 months, 3, and 6. She drives them to and from school/daycare, to and from swimming and she has a full time job as a physical therapist. I am bothered by this, i wish i wasnt but i am, for the simple fact that our culture is way more supportive of a dual-parent involved family and i see this poor woman struggle on a daily basis. We have mommy and me nights as well as daddy and me nights, and i swear to god jims mom had to do BOTH nights. The event was at 8 oclock, his father works at a car dealership there is no reason he should have missed this opportunity to bond with his children. It really struck a nerver though a few months ago when another childs father came to pick up and Jim said, "Your dad picks you up??" "where is your mom??" I wanted to run over there and say, "Yes, it's true daddys pick up too!!" He was shocked, and i was upset. Every family should be able to live their lives as they see fit, and i have no right to judge anyone but i still cant ignore how archaic this situation seems to me. I know his mother very well and she needs the help, she wants the help, but she never expects it. If a child is sick its her duty and her duty alone to pick them up and call out the next day. Maybe this is the life she wants, as stressed as it makes her, but maybe her husband needs to help out a little more and view their marriage as a partnership. In my opinion a husband and wife are on the same team and they need to pull their own weight, 50-50. I guess im just not used to seeing this, most families share responsibilities and take an active interest in my students activities.