Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week # 5 eureka moment
There is a 6-year-old boy in one of my classes named jimmy who comes from a very "old school" family. I say old school because mom (who is young 32 years at most) does EVERYTHING regarding her 3 children- ages 18 months, 3, and 6. She drives them to and from school/daycare, to and from swimming and she has a full time job as a physical therapist. I am bothered by this, i wish i wasnt but i am, for the simple fact that our culture is way more supportive of a dual-parent involved family and i see this poor woman struggle on a daily basis. We have mommy and me nights as well as daddy and me nights, and i swear to god jims mom had to do BOTH nights. The event was at 8 oclock, his father works at a car dealership there is no reason he should have missed this opportunity to bond with his children. It really struck a nerver though a few months ago when another childs father came to pick up and Jim said, "Your dad picks you up??" "where is your mom??" I wanted to run over there and say, "Yes, it's true daddys pick up too!!" He was shocked, and i was upset. Every family should be able to live their lives as they see fit, and i have no right to judge anyone but i still cant ignore how archaic this situation seems to me. I know his mother very well and she needs the help, she wants the help, but she never expects it. If a child is sick its her duty and her duty alone to pick them up and call out the next day. Maybe this is the life she wants, as stressed as it makes her, but maybe her husband needs to help out a little more and view their marriage as a partnership. In my opinion a husband and wife are on the same team and they need to pull their own weight, 50-50. I guess im just not used to seeing this, most families share responsibilities and take an active interest in my students activities.
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Heather,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your eureka moment, I remembered when I was a young girl "in Elementary and Middle school" and I was still in my country Lebanon.
My dad was traveling a lot and he use to spend months outside Lebanon because of his job and we only see him for very short time. He didn't know anything about my school but when he is home he will ask me to show him my tests and report card.
One time I was in 4th grade and we had a big party at the end of the school year. The teacher asked all students to come on the last day with the mother & father. The night before the last day I cried a lot and I called my dad to ask him if he can come so he can go with me and my mom to school. He was in here "US". I still remember his words to me. He said "If you called me two days before I would leave everything and come to be with you, but now it is too late, because if I leave US at this moment I will not make it because it is 12 hours flight”.
To make me happy and feel that he cares about me he called the school and he talked to my teacher. She put him on speaker and every one heard him. After that all the students were telling me that I am so lucky because my dad called the school to make me feel he is with me and not feel without dad.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteI mention in my post the show The Real Housewives of NJ. In the reunion that was on last night, there is a discussion about an argument the one woman had with her husband and his sister. The wife had a new born baby, and two other children, and finally, one day she said "I need a break" and had the father take care of them while she went out and had some alone time for herself. Immediately after she left, he called his sister to come over and babysit! I couldn't believe when I heard this, and I completely agreed that she should have been upset, the way she was.
I feel like when fathers act this way, they may LOVE their children, and their wives, but it shows complete disrespect towards both opposite parties, and I feel it only makes it appear that they mean little to nothing of importance. My father always made sure to come to my swim meets or dance recitals and I love him for that. He was always extremely busy, but he made the time.
I agree with you though, a healthy relationship with both your spouse and your children really require both adults and parents making efforts with their children and helping one another out with the responsibility.
-Taran